Daily Pain for You.

You know, I’m always going to regret never attempting to  have a romantic relationship with him. There’s this guy I know who I met a couple of years ago. He’s the only guy that I’ve ever connected with that well and had such an awesome friendship with. I love him as a friend, no question, but I wish so so much that we could try to date. Partly because I really think we could be soul mates, but also because I know I’ll wonder for the rest of my life what could have been if I just had the chance with him. He lives relatively far away, or at least far away enough to where it would be a long distance relationship, and I really wouldn’t like that, but I’m so afraid that by the time I get back there, he’ll have found somebody else. But aside from the distance factor, I’m ready to date him. I’ve finally figured out who I am and want to be; I’m stable and not changing those silly beliefs back and forth like I used to that got on his nerves. I’m working on myself as a person, and my life is looking up. I’m fixing to have a job, I’m in school making awesome grades, we like a lot of the same music, we have personalities that mix well together, although due to a fault of mine, there were times when I’d bug him if we were around eachother too much. But I have feelings for him. I have since not long after we became friends. There have been times when I’ve denied it to myself or tried to make them go away, but I think all along I have desired to love him and be loved by him. I’ve talked with him so much about girls and I know what he wants in a girl, and I know that I can give that to him; I can be that girl. I just wish I had the chance. Sorry to ramble on like this, but I’ve just really been thinking about him a lot lately. It causes me pain every time I think about him and wish I had one chance. If only he would realize how good we could be together.